Maud and her legs

It's been quite a week with one thing and another. Maud Shadbolt has retired from the Gem Theatre (they only show coloured films, none of this black and white). She was always banging her legs on the back of the seats and had some terrible scars from the ashtrays. And the job didn't do much for her eyesight either, she always used to say that the only time she ever saw the sun was when they played a film like Beau Geste.

Poor old Maud, she was as fragile as a ha'penny hairnet, and there was nothing of her - if she turned sideways you had a job to see her. She's been an usherette since the place opened in 1914, and she still didn't know where her feet were leading her! She was alright when she was taking people down to their seats, but she was always tripping over the steps on the way back. It was worse during the war as she had the idea of putting black card over half of the torch lens to save on the batteries.

Anyway, she's packed it all in now and a good job too as in three weeks she's back in hospital having her foot seen to. At her farewell party, I remember seeing the look of surprise on her face when she received her presents. Slack gave her a new ironing board and coal scuttle. Apricot lil gave her a set of cast iron saucpans. Bert the projectionist gave her a root from his hawthorn and a roll of nearly new lino. And Everard and I gave her one of those large plaster alsatians. unfortunately before she could thank us she dropped it on her good foot.

Heigh ho.