Everards birthday
I was just sat at home the other morning. I was having a cup of tea and a slice of queen cake for elevenses when I saw something being pushed under the front door. Well, I thought it's never that vicar again, from St. matthews trying to get me to join the choir. No, you see, he's been after me for years. I've got a very high voice you see, I had an accident when I was a young boy. I fell off a hobby horse.
Anyway, I opened it and it was an invitation card to Everards birthday. I thought that's never come round again. I can remember the last one. Oh dearie me, I mean everybody was there, candle wick Kate, once a week Nell, non stick Nora, all these people. Some people I'd never even heard of. That's what makes me laugh. You see when he's ill nobody ever goes round. It's like last week he was ill and didn't get one get well card but when its a celebration any function they're all there. Swilling it back, swilling it back. I mean Sasparilla, the strongest drink he had there was some home made cowslip wine.
It's the games they play that kill me. Passing the parcel. I mean it's so big when they start and it's always a pair of earings or a brooch. Drives me mad.
And the vicars wife was there, and she brings her own in, what! Oh I've caught her at it. She keeps saying 'I must just leave the room for a minute' and when she comes back she's worse than when she went out. I followed her out once and there it was, behind the bin, a half bottle of scotch. And of course the Vicar says his wifes having one of her turns again, he says she goes all giddy and flushed. Giddy!
She smelt like a brewery.
posted by Brad Fitt at 8:27 PM
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